By Anonymous
Submitted: 2 months ago
Asking for prayers – its been a while since I asked for a prayer here. I feel as though I have no where to turn. I feel very alone. It seems like I have navigated most of my life alone, at least the major moments. I'll be 50 in 2 months and I dont have any direction. I've failed at every career and business I've attempted, I've had some temporary times or doing "okay". Ive struggled so hard to find my way here in this life and always come back to this same place, alone, no money and no real family or friends for support. Never been married or had a significant relationship. Rejection after rejection and I just cant take it anymore. I have a 12 yo son and he is the only reason I get out of bed. When he is with his dad, I am completely lost and isolated. The only times of joy are watching him be joyful – although I know he's lonely too. I never really found a Christian community. I am too embarressed to admit to anyone that today – Aug 1, I have less than $300 in my account. Rent is due, business expenses are due, I am behind on my sons tuition and I just got a new car in June after driving the same one for 12 years and first car payment is due. I was so grateful for the car and thanked GOD so much and now I cannot even make the first payment – after years of rebuilding credit it was finally good enough to qualify for a loan at a great rate and Im on the verge of messing it up all over again – this cycle is endless, I find myself envying women who have husbands and who have businesses with their husbands – if only I were so lucky – even if we were broke at least we'd be broke together. I was so thankful to get my son into a private school and so proud to pay it on time for the first year and now year 2 and I am behind and he wont be able to attend unless I pay – I feel so hopeless and I dont know what to do -Ive applied for jobs and gigs and nothing has worked out yet. Please pray for provision, GOD has always come through in his timing – I just need him so much right now – hes been silent I've been bitter and angry seeing so many people from my past have things Ive been praying for decades for. I dont want to let my son down anymore – he sees my sadness and doesnt know what to do. Thank you for your prayers. Be Blessed.