I made a real bad decision before I really started living my life as a Christian,it ended up costing me losing everything in my life,to be exact,4 million dollars over 17 years,just so you know,it was not drugs or alcohol or anything illegal,it was for a marriage I have wanted all my life since I was a child,I still don’t have anything,and I want to just throw in the towel ( commit suicide),but I don’t have what it takes in me to carry that out,I have tried to pray to GOD to just take my life,but can’t even follow through with that prayer request,I have no Hope,Faith,Belief or Trust GOD is going to fulfill Romans 8;28,or Jeremiah 29;11 or Isaiah 61;7 or any other promises or prayers I have been praying in my life for the past 17 years,please forgive me for putting this out there like this,but I just needed to get this off my chest and out in the open to anybody,GOD is all to familiar with all of this,I am not a quitter,I am more than a conqueror,but this is really hard to wake up to every morning and face every day,and put on the I’m ok and everything is fine in my life face,please pray for me,thank you and I hope you have a blessed day